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  1. Church

From the recording Wasted In 3D

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Lyrics

Betty got arrested on her way to church
She was still a little drunk and her head still hurt
She was up the night before until a quarter to 5
With her new best friends at her favorite dive
There was a line out the door and one on the mirror
She asked herself why in the hell am I here
I got an 8 a.m. meeting with Jesus Christ
And if he saw me here he’d think, "Well isn’t this nice…"

I blew a point 0-9
That’s not a f*cking crime oh no
I’m just trying to get to church
Lord please help me here
Make these handcuffs disappear oh no
I’m just trying to get to church

Well now we’re doing 64 on the way to jail
I can’t count on Mother Mary to post my bail
I should’ve taken more money from the offering plate
‘cuz now where going down town so it’s too late
Why do bad things happen to the righteous?
Why do bad things always come to me?
(and she said)

I blew a point 0-9
That’s not a f*cking crime oh no
I’m just trying to get to church
Lord please help me out
I promise I’ll be more devout oh no
I’m just trying to get to church

Now I lay me down to sleep
With bedbugs in these filthy sheets
And if I die before I wake
Please tell my priest I’m running late oh no…

I blew a point 0-9
it’s not a f*cking crime oh no
I’m just trying to get to church
It’s hard to pray to you
When my knees are black and blue oh no
I’m just trying to get to church

And I promise I’ll do right
Just see me through this night
Please get me back to church
And you know I’ll follow you
Just as long as I can do what I want to
Lord get me back to church
Please get me back to church